Eric's Journal

Yesterday & Today

It’s so precious when you have good wishes
Open eyes and see inside of your heart

— Yesterday & Today by Do As Infinity

So we finally arrive at the last day of 2009. What an amazing year it has been.

I started the year 2009 with hope and wishes for something better than 2008. I wished for a better job. I wished I can do better in photography. I was waiting for the birth of my first daughter. I wished I can rent or buy a house. And many other small and big wishes. Some were pretty silly and some were quite ambitious and others were just plain simple wishes.

Of course, I didn’t get most of my wishes. As I’ve already expected.

On 2009, I did something special on this blog. I started doing some interviews with some interesting photographers. Started with a friend, Dicky Jiang. Then interviews with Karolus Naga and Dani Subagja. But the most interesting was my interview with Stella Kalaw. I wanted to do more interviews (actually I prefer the term conversation) with more photographers but I didn’t have the time. If I have more time, I’d love to do this again someday.

Inspired by Ch’ng Yaohong, I also started to feature some of the photographers’ works that caught my attention. Hin Chua: After The Fall. Agan Harahap. Hong Hao. Rony Zakaria. Muge Tang: Silence. Jean Chung: Panoramic view of Afghanistan. Ian Teh. Muge Tang: Go Home. Stella Kalaw: Wandering. Kurniadi Widodo. Guna Dwi Agusti.

I also did a small fun research on Magnum Photos archives resulted in some interesting posts such as Bali Through The Eyes of Magnum Photographers and Magnum Photos, Leica, Legends. I also found some photos of the first Indonesia President, Soekarno, during the early years of our independence which mostly were taken by the famous Henri Cartier-Bresson. I might post it later. Other photos about Indonesia were from the 1955 Asia-Africa Conference in Bandung and photos of the Aceh tsunami.

And to top it off, photographically speaking, I was invited to Machi Neko 3 exhibition in Osaka, Japan. It’s nice to get recognition, even if it’s only for my street cats’ photos.

Also, I sold my Rolleiflex SL35 and get myself a Yashica T Zoom. I hope I can get a medium format camera in 2010.

In 2009, I also move on to the next phase of my life. To become a father of a beautiful daughter. We named her, Keira Noemi Abigail. Initially, I wanted to write a series of letters to my daughter. Something she can read herself when she’s older. I did wrote the first, second, and third letter. It’s supposed to be weekly. Then I decided it should be monthly. And then I think it would be best for me if I wrote it just occasionally. I hope that in 2010 I can push myself to start this over again. At least to write monthly letters. This was inspired by the awesome newsletter by Heather Armstrong to her daughter Leta (and later also to Marlo). Now, Noemi is 6 months old and she’s developing at an amazing rate everyday.

Now, we move on to the sad news.

My dog died on February. She’s already gotten really sick a couple of weeks before so I have prepared myself for this. But, still, I feel very sad to lose a faithful friend earlier this year. For years, I have used to hear her bark at nights. To play with her. And at older times (when I was a kid) I used to talk to her. Yes, I’m a dog person. Now, the house feels empty with a presence of a dog.

Several months ago, a co-worker died on a sudden heart attack at the office. She’s only 24. It was a shock that I can’t write anything on this blog but I gather some quotes on life & death. When I see the death of someone at my age or even younger, I’ve always thought of my own life. It’s a kind of reminder. Will I be ready if my time come really soon? Because, ready or not, it will come anyway. It’s one thing in life that is inevitable.

2009 also marked my 4th years of blogging. I don’t know how far I can go with this blog. I hope I can push this blog to the limit and beyond. And while doing that, I have gathered my old posts which were scattered on other places on this blog. So you may go to the archives and start reading the old stuffs.

Another interesting event was the Comic Bandung in August where Budi and I were invited to talk about photoblogging to a small group of enthusiasts. I say it’s a bit too late because I’ve been waiting (or even dreaming) of this since 2005. Now, my photoblogging spirit has been greatly decreased, if not already died out like the current state of photoblogs.org and photoblogsmagazine.org.

You may also have noticed some Japanese influences over the blog. I assure you that this is nothing new. But, in a way, Japanese photography has freshen up my photography life. There are many inspiring photographers but I can name a few. Daido Moriyama. Hiromix. Nobuyoshi Araki. Ume Kayo. Hiroshi Sugimoto. Ume Kayo is my favourite but I’m having a hard time Google-ing her. I found some of her works, which is amazing and fun, but no further info or whatsoever. In fact, if I can buy any photography book I’d choose between Ume Kayo’s Ume-me: Todays Happening or Long Live Grandpa! or Daido Moriyama’s Memories of A Dog.

After trying out various media earlier this year, such as Facebook, Tumblr, Posterous, FriendFeed, and especially Twitter (looks like I over-tweeted on the day of Jakarta bombings & the earthquake), I started to reduce my online activities on recent months. I need to sort out my offline life first. And I really need to filter out the noise from the good ones. I still follow plenty of good blogs & Twitter feeds through my feed reader though.

With less online activities, I can also start finishing my personal photo projects. One that is almost done is my At The Zoo series. It’s my journey at the zoo during 2006 – 2009. And I hope I can wrap it up really soon and start working with some ongoing series and I still have some new ideas on my waiting list.

Have you ever seen my new experiment? It’s a photoblog with big pictures, and when I say big, it’s actually BIG. And after several considerations, I think it will become a photoblog of Bandung, by me. You can say that it’s Bandung Photoblog but it has no actual connection with Bandung Photobloggers (except that I’m one of the co-founder). Let me know what you think about it.

Now, what are my hope and wishes for 2010? I hope that 2010 will be better and I can be a better husband and father for life. That’s all. (Well, it’ll also be nice if I can get a Rolleiflex or Hasselblad or Contax T2 or Canon 5D MarkII… oh, well, you get the idea)

What do you want for 2010?

Dec 28

Have yourself a merry little Christmas

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Let your heart be light
From now on,
our troubles will be out of sight

Have yourself a merry little Christmas,
Make the Yule-tide gay,
From now on,
our troubles will be miles away.

Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.

Through the years
We all will be together,
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself A merry little Christmas now.

— Written by Hugh Martin & Ralph Blane, 1943

Dec 22

As someone who has reviewed so many outstanding portfolios and self-promotional pieces, what distinguishes the very best?

Certainly, the “wow” factor of an unorthodox or expensive portfolio/promotion is always something that catches my attention. However, if that “wow” isn’t met by “wow #2,” ie. excellent photography presented in a cohesive form, then I feel sorry that the photographer spent so much money putting lipstick on a pig.

— Neil Binkley

Dec 17

Daido Moriyama: Memories of a Dog

Memories of A Dog by Daido Moriyama.

Publisher’s description:

Daido Moriyama is without question one of Japan’s most important contemporary photographers and it is not surprising that this memoir, first published as a series of essays in Asahi Camera twenty-one years ago, is regarded as a classic in photographic literature. In Memories of a Dog, Moriyama approaches photography through language, and it is difficult to say which is the more evocative medium. His vividly expressive prose is in perfect harmony with the grainy, black and white images that in turn have a poetry all their own. As both reader and viewer one becomes completely absorbed, and photographs that will always be remarkable are given a new, very personal, layer of meaning. This is an eloquent autobiographical account of the artist’s progress through life – the places he’s lived and traveled to, the newsreel theater that was like a “second school,” the bars, the coffee shops, and his journey to take his mother’s ashes to be with those of his father. From his earliest sensations of being, to the realization that he has become “willy-nilly and much to my regret, an adult,” Moriyama shares his idea of memory, and “the individual history that goes by the name, I.”

Colin Pantall: Blurred, Dark and Grainy:

Moriyama’s photographs from this time are some of the most distinctive images ever made. Blurred, dark and grainy, they are also completely at odds with traditional ideas of what a good photograph is supposed to be.

“Memories of a Dog shows he is thinking about what he does,” says Michael Hoppen. “It shows us the meaning in his work and the emotional turmoil that he went through as a photographer and an artist to reach the level he has reached. He has been through some torrid times and has a dark vision of the world. Moriyama’s work is about despondency, depression and despair.”

“Daido’s work is difficult,” says Michael Hoppen, whose Michael Hoppen contemporary Gallery represents Moriyama in the UK. “Sometimes people see it and think, ‘Why would anyone want to buy Daido’s work? It looks like he doesn’t know what he is doing. So when you see his work, you have to forget everything you know about photography. Instead you need to know something about his background and what he’s trying to do.”

Dec 15

Larry Sultan dies at 63

“Larry Sultan, a highly influential California photographer whose 1977 collaboration, “Evidence” — a book made up solely of pictures culled from vast industrial and government archives — became a watershed in the history of art photography, died on Sunday at his home in Greenbrae, Calif. He was 63.”

Dec 15

“A camera is a tool for learning how to see without a camera.”

– Dorothea Lange (via)

Dec 11

“It’s important to take bad pictures. It’s the bad ones that have to do with what you’ve never done before. They can make you recognize something you hadn’t seen in a way that will make you recognize it when you see it again.”

— Diane Arbus

Dec 2

Dad for Life

Today, I seriously think that I may not be a good son nor a good brother. I also may not be a good student, a good friend, or even a good person. But I know for sure that I want to be a good father. And, of course, to be a better person.

I’m a new father, I’m still adjusting myself to the fatherhood, but I can say that being a father is a good thing for me, way beyond my imagination before.

Yes, we make sacrifices. In time, money, and our whole life. Yet, we’re willing to do it all, and more.

Yes, our life change. Sometimes radically. Yet, we do it consciously.

There are no other place I’d rather be other then at home with my wife and daughter. I’d like to spend all of my time with them.

Life is that beautiful as a father.

My daughter is still 5 months old, so it’s still a long way to go. I don’t mind, I have my whole life to spend with her.

The above video was made by a friend, Tay Kay Chin, following the “Dads for Life” movement in Singapore. He’s not a father but he has done it wonderfully. He says on his Facebook notes that the assignment was to do whatever he wants but people must be moved in one way or another and, hopefully, they are inspired to be a good father. It works for me.

This afternoon, my father watched the movie “2012” on DVD. He must have caught the Streisand effect. He asked me to join him and my mother. I said “no, thanks”.

I just want to watch this movie on YouTube. For me, this movie is way better than “2012″.

So, after a little more than seven minutes, what do I get? Inspiration. And a secret to become a good father.

Unconditional love.

Easier said than done, eh? Well, only time will tell and only my daughter will tell in time. Right now, I’m proud to be a father. I’m a happy father.

And I’m a dad for life.

Dec 1

Cat & car, Bekasi, Indonesia, 2006

Nov 30

Goodbye, Rolleiflex

— Rolleiflex SL35 Black + Carl Zeiss Planar 1.4/50 HFT, both made in Germany.

This is my second camera and, like my first camera, I sell it. If you don’t know me, you should understand that I rarely buy a camera and will be hard to sell it again. In short, I’m a user, not a collector or a reseller. I buy a camera to use it for good, hopefully.

So when it comes to parting with the camera, well, it’s a bit sad. No regret though. Just keep remembering how I got it or how good it is.

Don’t forget the result. Even if you believe that you can take good pictures regardless of the camera, you don’t want to mess with old German cameras. And the lens. Oh, look! Bokeh!

Now, I’ve already got the replacement. Well, not quite the same but it works for me.

I’m happy. And I hope whoever get the camera will enjoy it like I did. That way, we will both be happy. And we all know that happy people make happy pictures.